i feel like i really want to get to know you.

but then its you thats stuck in the back of my mind. still angry perhaps, or maybe i still care? clearly not as much now as i did then, because it was then that i realised that you weren't so great after all.

now i'm just waiting for everyone to tell me that i was wrong. Not because i couldn't, but because i wouldn't say no.


"but they weren't there..."


E.

fire away

i'm bulletproof, nothing to lose...i am titanium.

but i feel like glass, just like the bottles piling up beside me.


E.

i don't think i'll tell you anymore. clearly, you can quite easily manage turning the trivial into the dramatic with just one sentence. like, what the fuck?

i'll just bottle it all up. you should be about to relate quite well to that.


E.

sound of silence

"hello darkness my old friend,
i've come to talk with you again."

i've never heard silence this loud. a sadistic and vulgar noise that continually resonates through my mind, reverberating through the fissures of my consciousness, opening rifts that i never thought could exist.

in short: it hurts.

i think we can put behind us all this bullshit and go back to the way things were before: great friends, maybe even best friends (but maybe that's only my wish). however at the same time, i get the feeling that i'm the only one stuck in the past. am i right?

simply, friends don't do this shit. but if there is one thing that i want you to understand, it's the fact that although i was/am upset and angry, i need you to believe me when i say that nothing has changed, in both feelings and opinions.

although this chapter in the book is finally over, i haven't written you out just yet.



E.

i think we're playing the same game here and i'm tired of it already.
(or maybe you're just sick of the bullshit...perhaps both?)

but i'm also tired of compromising.

E.

whatever, seriously. But you will never use that pathetic excuse with me ever again. it means nothing to me anymore.



but on a side note, to everyone out there who doesn't know what it feels like: there's nothing worse than being in love alone. fact.


E.

i've got to tell you, i'm not handling this very well. in fact, i'm not handling it at all.

but i'll do it, just for you, because it's what you want need.


E.

i don't like being told how to feel. i just need someone to listen, just for a moment.

simply lend me your ear and your warm embrace. that's all i ask.


E.

yep, don't mind me. just another day of shitty uncertainty.

where's a razor blade to accompany this blog when you need one...


E.

And suddenly I become a part of your past,
I'm becoming the part that don't last,
I'm losing you and its effortless.
Without a sound we lose sight of the ground
In the throw around,
Never thought that you wanted to bring it down,
I won't let it go down til we torch it ourselves.


E.

should i give up?
or should just keep chasing pavements,
even if it leads no where?


E.

there has been no harder battle than the one in my head.


E.