the only exception

i have a feeling that this is going to be one of those 'you weren't there, you wouldn't know' type of things. but you know what? thats ok, because i have a real feeling that this time, those words will actually mean something.
it all happened so quickly and yet, somehow, i don't feel scared or confused. i feel like it's been unfolding for months. weird huh? and i've been thinking lately that the only reason why this is so, is because we both want the same thing. we both want the love and respect everyone deserves, especially the good.

and what we've both learned from each others past? you've got to experience the bad to be able to appreciate the good.


E.

'cause holding grudges over love is ancient artifacts

its not that i wouldn't say it, it's that i couldn't.

they say that time will heal all wounds, but i don't have that much time. so i've taken the initiative to stitch them up myself in an attempt to forget the past and live for the future.

because the risk is all worth it.


E.

i told myself that i would learn from last times mistakes, and i think i have. i find myself instinctively scrupulous with every step, pulling apart everything you say, analysing the pieces for the truth and the lies.

but after all that heartache and despair, i somehow feel like i don't need to be careful with you, because you've been through the same experiences as me (where the scars are still raw).

its like by chance, we've both encountered each other on the same page, reading the same book.


E.

i know you're hating on me at the moment and to be honest, i really don't blame you for it.

but hating on me for something thats not my fault? its just making me feel like shit, because i can't talk to you about any of it.

would you still hate me if it didn't go your way?


E.

why is it that the good things in life are never simple?

because i'm damned if i do and damned if i don't.


E.

the war within yourself

it starts with the casual conversations. the 'how are you?' 'how was your day?'

and then hidden feelings begin to weave their way through an emotional kindred web. the innocent yet flirtatious comments, the laughs and the smiles. then, the surfaces begin to peel away and geniality, altruism, passion and love fight their way to the surface.

but i've felt like this before (and look how that turned out).

what ever happened to learning from your mistakes?


E.