Everytime we meet i can see the intelligent and bright young person i know is inside you. You have so much to offer, yet you're too blinded by your own vanity to see it.

for the first time, i don't understand.

why do you insist on holding back?


E.

The swing was always my favourite part of the playground. Maybe it was the thrill and excitement you got from flying through the air, like gravity doesn't exist. The simple childish imagination that maybe if you try hard enough, you could let go without falling.

Or perhaps, its the feeling of being free, the ability to let the wind flow through you hair. You have no control over the resonance of the swinging motion, but you never once feel insecure or helpless. You simply let your body flow with the rhythm.

But like everything good in life, it can't last forever. It's a dream that feels like it lasts for hours but in reality, it only lasted a second and when you wake up, you can't remember it. No matter how hard you try to close your eyes and concentrate, you just can't remember.

I feel as though the world is just one big window and i'm on the inside, looking out. Freedom just isn't a luxury that i have.

It never will be if i stay here.

E.

'wanna catch up?'

'um yeh, whatever'

what the hell is that supposed to mean?

i hate texting. you can never pick a persons tone of voice.

E.

I don't know why i did it. I think perhaps it was my yearning for attention that made me do it.

Maybe you caught me at a moment when i was most vulnerable and somehow managed to press the right buttons. But relationships need both of us and i'm not sure that i'm ready to make that commitment just yet...not with you.

I may regret it now but i know that it's for the best. Somehow, we'll get over it and move on.

Whatever it was, whatever we had, it was a mistake, and i'm truly sorry.

E.

i think i'm a shopaholic.

i spent over $300 today! considering i was only supposed to spen $85 on a hard drive... :S

i need some serious help. i mean, it's not like i need anymore clothes, is it? but clearly, my subconscious begs to differ. I buy one thing, then i need to buy something that goes with it....etcetera etcetera. 

i need to learn some self control!

oh, and btw......i'm on a 5 month holiday bitchezzz ;)

E.

you may not agree with how i feel, but remember...it's what i think that really counts.

E.

seriously? a cafe in the library? do you KNOW how convenient that is?!

but honestly....what happened to the 'no food, no drink' rule?

highlight of my day: getting charged only 40c for a 60c chuppa-chup. win.

E.

again with the whole not talking to me thing...are you trying to avoid me?

i KNOW you know, but you could do the decent thing and tell me that 'it's not like that'.

i'm sick of pretending that something will ever happen.

E.

you thought i didn't care, the way i laughed it off.

Truthfully, it broke my heart.

i wish you hadn't have told me.


E.

*bikini top falls down after massive wave*

"did you see anything?"

"no"

"then why are you laughing? the entire beach managed to get a good look at them, 3 times!" 
"wasn't it only twice?"
"no, it happened again...you didn't see that one"

lmfao :P


E.

THANKYOU, infectious agents. you've really made my day. 

perfect fucking timing....

E.

i can't figure you out.

you're like a book that ends with no last page....

E.

sometimes i can never tell whether you're just in a bad mood, or actually pissed at me.

i hate it when you call me stupid, but you're my friend, so i play along. We laugh and make fun of each other. Some of the stuff you say really hurts. But then again, you can always dish it out and never take it. Friendship is a mutal concept. For it to work, both parties must make an equal contribution. But lately, i've found myself doing all the work, and i wonder why i put you as my priority when i'm only your option.

Since i've met you, my life has changed, my life is worth living. There's no denying that i will miss you when it's over, we're so close yet so far away. would you want me to come visit you? i would visit you every day if i could, just so i could look into those beautiful blue eyes of yours and tell myself 'you're my friend, and the world is different when i'm with you.'

i feel jealousy taking a hold of me. i see you with others and my heart sinks, because you're not with me. i'm jealous of you. I'm a selfish person, but i try so hard not to let it control me. Was it something i said or did? Understand that this is me and if you can't handle it, then it breaks my heart to have to say that it was just never meant to be.

but i want it so badly.

E.