Why complicate a friendship with a relationship?

It finally dawned on me this morning that perhaps you feel the need to take this further. Then i realised afterwards that maybe i've been giving you the wrong impression, like i've been leading you on. Why do i always do that? If i were to be completely honest with you, you're perfect and yet it's still not enough.

Why is it now that i can't find the answer that i want?

It seems that the new image for myself that i wanted to create has turned into something that I neither like nor understand. The worst thing though is that i feel as though i can't turn back, as though a part of me actually likes the person i'm becoming. For the first time in my life, i'm lost and i don't know where to go.

I guess this is just another one of lifes hurdles that i have to jump, and i suck at hurdles.

E.