snakes and ladders

to sleep well is a wonderful thing. to completely switch your brain off and pretend that nothing has happened. its blissful.

(and then here comes the 'but')

as soon as you wake up, all that emotion inundates your mind and bliss turns to heartache once again.

is it human nature to turn jealous? well if it is, it can go fuck itself.
i wish it had never happened, but most of all, i just wish i never saw it happen. actions speak louder than words, and its times like these where my photographic memory is a burden on my life. now, i feel as though everything that we've achieved, especially in the past month, has fallen down the drain and we're back at square one.

its like a neverending game of snakes and ladders.

they say i should move on from this, get over it and do what i think is right for me. the only problem is however, is that what is right is not the same as what i want, and i'm sick of not having what i want.

i want so badly to scream at you. pound your chest and tell you that you're just wrong, because if you really care about someone, then none of what you doubt should matter at all.

but i can't tell you anymore, because you're just as stubborn as i am.


E.