why do i feel like this?

i mean, i've felt like this before. but this constant state of depression has been going on for weeks and i can't tell if its just me, or if its actually you. or maybe you. or even you.

we're both busy people, but even then, i feel as though something has changed between us. like we're drifting further away from each other, and i hate it, but i can't quite put my finger on it.

i always knew that this difference in the magnitude of feeling was stronger one way than the other. its been like that from the beginning. i'm afraid that if i tell you this, you're whole perspective of me will change, like i'm some mad insecure bitch. although i can assure you that that's not the real me, but its definitely how i feel at the moment (and that's what i can't explain).

all i can do is cry myself to sleep.

and its days of uncertainty like these that make me want to curl up in a cold, dark hole away from the rest of the world, and just die.


E.