i step outside my minds eyes for a minute
and i look over me like a doctor looking for disease
for something that could ease the pain
but nothing cures the hurt that you, you bring on by yourself...


what am i afraid of exactly? who knows.
but what i do know is that i've acted selfishly whilst all this time, you've been selfless.

maybe its time i grew up and started to realise that in fact, the past shouldn't matter, especially if its small and insignificant in comparison.

that's why its in the past.

as soon as i said the words, i wanted to take them back. its been less than 24 hours and already i want them back. i'm sorry.

amazingly enough though, you're still fighting for me. why? i'll never know. maybe its time i grew up and put it behind me, because the shadows are beginning to creep into the present, and its beginning to scare me.


E.